I could be one of those dickheads that starts off a blog with, “Hi, my names Michael and I have been in the fitness industry for 10 years and I amazing blah blah blah…
I’m going to get straight down to telling you what the fuck is wrong with this bloated bullshit industry, and if you don’t like it, I don’t give Sunday worth of shits!
Let’s start with the word, “CUNTS!”
There are many of them out there, but yet no two are alike. Well actually they are, they are all after one thing, and one thing only, your hard-earned moolah, and they give ZERO shits how they will get it.
We’re going to focus on one specific group today…
Meal replacement shake (cunts)people!
I’m going to go back a few years here before I knew much about anything.
I was working in IT for a company and ended up on site, for a chain of gyms, (that was involved with that fuckhead Tony Quinn) fixing a broken computer. I was sitting behind reception, doing my thing, with the gym manager and receptionist behind me manning their desk.
A young overweight man, couldn’t have been more than 15, rocks in with his mother behind, complaining about how he has only lost two pounds in the last week on their program. Good fucking job, I thought to myself, id like to lose 2 pounds! (I was fat too)
The receptionist, who I forgot to mention, is a morbidly obese woman in her 50’s, starts asking this kid what he is eating…
The kid lists out a few meals, all sounds reasonably health, broccoli is in there along with steak, rice etc. … Perfecto!
This cockhead of a receptionist turns around and says, “no no no, you need to drink two of these shakes a day, one for breakfast, one for lunch and two chicken breasts for dinner, and that’s it.”
This motherfucker, telling this kid to do this shit!
In my mind I’m hearing this, thinking “Run kid, run for your fucking life.” But the poor little bastard grabs two tubs of this powdered chemical shit-storm meal replacement wank and his mam pays an arm and a leg for the privilege.
This high and mighty bear wrestler, strutting around telling this kid to drink garbage to lose weight, and she’s never seen a sausage roll in her life without it mashing down her throat.
Fast fucking forward 5 years.
I’m now a qualified personal trainer, I’m working in the industry, growing my business slowly and I get a phone call.
Some lady, telling me she’s a certified Herbalife distributor and wants to talk to me about joining her distributor team. She blabbering on the phone to me about how much money I can make and how good the product is and how great the results are people get.
As she gets to the end, I say “that sounds great, can you tell me what ingredients are in the shakes?”
Fuck me, there was a very uncomfortable silence over that phone!
“Eh, all the ingredients are on the website.” She says to me…
“So you don’t know what’s in the product your selling,” I asked, and I won’t lie, I was a smug little fucker asking her too.
“No, but its all on the website!” she stuttered…
“I’m sorry, I’m not going to sell anything that I don’t know what’s in it!”
And that was the end of that bollox.
My point that I’m trying to make, if its not glaringly fucking obvious at this stage is…
People will sell you shit on a stick and tell you its gold if they think you will believe it.
They care more about filling their wallets with profits than they do about your weight-loss, your health, or you in general.
Sure look, there is a company out now selling diet coffee, Skinny coffee or some shite, it has only 6 calories in a cup. They didn’t put a lot of effort into their research cos a normal cup of coffee has only 5 calories the stupid fucking wankers.
These arseholes are paying Instagram celebrities for endorsement to say their product got them amazing results.
Like, look at this shite!
Olivia D buck…She looks like she would take a buck for anything the fucking sell out.
“Results in a week,” it says… Fucking results in a week is this companies bank account going up from gullible fuckers buying this shite thinking they are going to look like this woman, who most likely spend a few bob herself on a personal trainer a few times a week who actually gets the results for her.
Fuck Herbalife! Fuck Boombod! Fuck Skinny coffee! Fuck Juiceplus! and fuck the rest of them!
Let’s wake the fuck up a little…
Here’s some Education for you.
Bodyfat is stored energy. 1 pound of body fat is roughly the same as 3500 calories.
If you want to lose a pound of body fat a week, you need to be in a 3500 calories deficit.
Want to lose the fat? Eat normal, then walk for around an hour a day to burn 500 calories, do this for 7 days, Boom, you’re a pound of body-fat down.
And if someone tries to sell you shite like this, tell them to email you at firstname.lastname@example.org (no honestly, do, they will get a nice reply) with some information. Then I’ll write about the wankers too!
Want to find out more, visit http://www.bodycoach.ie